Crimson Regret
by StrangeNormality
Summary: I tried to kill the pain but only brought more so much more I lay dying and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming am I too lost to be saved am I too lost? dark troypay oneshot TxS


_Crimson Regret  
Description; all this time I can't believe I couldn't see, kept in the dark but you were there in front of me, I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems, got to open my eyes to everything_

_Pairing; TxS_

_Before we get into the story, first I want to address why it's been forever since I've made a story. I have been so busy with life that i've had no time whatsoever to write, but Woop! Woop! I'm so back. lol_

_I got this idea sitting in the car at Sonic. I was thinking of this song and the idea came to me._

_Enjoyy =]_

* * *

_I tried to kill the pain_

_but only brought more_

_so much more_

_I lay dying_

_and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal_

_I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming_

_am I too lost to be saved_

_am I too lost?_

_-Tourniquet, Evanescence_

* * *

I go inside the bathroom, looking under the stalls one by one, making sure there was nobody in here to see me. Good. No one is in here. So, I slowly probe my bag for some scissors that I stole from the teacher's desk last period. I swallow and run the cold hard blades deep into the flesh back of my arm in an X pattern. I've done this so many times before, I feel nothing. Its just numbness that I feel. Absolutely nothing. The blade feels cool and soft against against my numb skin as blood creeps its way out of my body. I close my eyes, feeling the sharpness against me and the warm, crimson liquid running down my arm. Scissors and Lithium have been my best friends for a few months now. It seems my tenebrous presence is cured by them. Without the numbness they provide, I wouldn't live. I dont feel pain anymore, I barely cry now. It seems like i'm just a lifeless carcus with nothing left inside...

Tears slip away from my eyes unconsciously. I bury my head in my hands and just cry for. What has my life come to now? Everything I have is gone. I have no friends, no nothing. Everything. Gone. All I have is pain left in me. My pain is too deep to heal. No one can save me now. I'm too lost, too far gone now.

* * *

_how can you see into my eyes like open doors_

_leading you down into my core_

_where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold _

_until you find it there and lead it back home_

* * *

I walk outside, wiping away a few stray tears off my face. I hear shuffling behind me. I don't look to see who its coming from, just cover my face to hide the ominous, dark bruises that found their way onto my face by my boyfriend. The shuffling and rustling of feet begins to come closer, I walk faster and try to drain out everything in the world. When suddenly, the shuffling of feet stops. Right when I think the person is gone, a hand grabs my arm, making me jump. I spin around to find a tanned, muscular boy. His brows furrowed over his eyes, making something similar to a wide V. "What?" I ask, still covering my face. What does he want? He's never cared about what I do.

"Something's wrong. You're not happy, are you?" The boy says, in a knowing tone of voice. Why does he care if i'm happy?

"I'm fine. I'm just perfectly happy!" I lie my best lie.

"What are those bruises on you're face, then? And the cuts on your arm?" He says.

"They're nothing, ok! I said I'm fine." I say with more anger than I intended. He looks around and grabs my hand and pulls me to his rusty, beat-up truck out in the school parking lot.

"What the hell, Troy?" I say.

"Get in the car." He says with a smile. He's already in the driver's seat, with his keys in the ignition. I reluctantly sit in the passenger seat of the truck, having no idea whats going on. Although I am resistant, I decid to hop in. Atleast it will get me out of here.

"What the hell are you doing?" I scream this time. I really dont like being taken places without knowing where i'm going especially against my will.

"You'll see"

"Why am I in your car? Where are we going?" The angry questions flowed through my lips like no end.

He drives for about fifteen to twenty minutes and finally stops at this quaint little restaurant called _'Carter's coffee palace'. _It is a small red-brick building set in between two tall buildings. It looks partially out of place next to the two buildings that are practically skyscrapers compared to the _'Carter's coffee palace' _building. The sign is white with royal blue, cursive writing that said Carter's Coffee Shop with coffee mugs on both sides.

We walk inside the glass rotating door. The inside also has an old-fashioned charm to it. The same gnarled bricks that are seen on the outside of the building are also visible on the inside. The place is filled with two-seated tables. Troy gets us a seat next to one of the front windows. It has a beautiful sunflower center piece.

"Please, tell me what's wrong..." He says and unexpectedly grabs my hand across the table.

"Nothing, seriously"

"Then why do you have bruises on your face and cuts on your arm? I know those aren't accidental cuts Sharpay or bruises?" He says with something in his voice that sounds like careness but a girl can't be sure. He might just feel sorry for me.

Something in me needs to have my secret out. It's killing me for no one to know. I don't know what comes over me but all of a sudden, I say, "Troy...save me...I have a confession I need you to know." Why am I saying this?

* * *

_(Wake me up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(I can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Save me)_

_call my name and save me from the dark_

_(Wake me up)_

_bid my blood to run_

_(I can't wake up)_

_before I come undone_

_(Save me)_

_save me from the nothing I've become_

**Flashback**

* * *

_I walk putside my boyfriend's house. It's 9 o'clock. which means he would be beyond mad. But then again, when is he not? Never. That is the answer. He is always grumpy, angry, and meniachal. I look down, take a deep breath, and finally take a step inside. I prepare for the horrible thing that will happen to me in a matter of a few minutes..._

_"Where have you been, Sharpay?" He says in his unmistakable ominous voice. I look down with a sad look. A tear rolls down my face. _

_"Uhm...nowhere honey. I just...uh...had to...stay after school!" I say lying. I know he wouldn't believe me. After all, I am a terrible liar. I step forward, cautiously, biting my lip. "I-I-I'm s-sorry, Br-Br-Brandon." I stutter praying to god that he will understand._

_"Yeah. Nice try." He says, "Me and you both know you're a terrible liar." OH NO! I cover my face._

_He flings his fist in the air, and I brace myself. I can take a punch, hit, and a kick pretty damn well now. And with somewhat of a warning, he pushes me onto the couch roughly. _

_"Please, Brandon! I love you." I say._

_"Shut up, you nasty skanky bitch!" He growls through his teeth. _

_"O-ok!" _

_He kicks me in the side and I grab it with a loud whimper. Ouch, That hurt! Then, he grabs my neck and throws me off the couch, my head banging itself on the table. I gasp in pain and hold the back of my head and when I take it off, I realise that there's a deep gash in my head and it's bleeding uncontrollably. "Oh my god." I say._

_He slaps my face two to three times. I don't say anything, just close my eyes and wait for the beating to end. It seemed to never end. Just went on and on. _

_I must have became unconscious, because when I finally wake up, I'm in a hospital bed with my twin brother, Ryan standing over me."What are you doing here, Ryan? Where are we?" I say, confused. What am I doing here? What Is this place?_

_"You're at the hospital, Shar. There was an......accident" He says. _

_"Oh.." I said, remembering the incident. _

_"Yeah." He says._

_"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be somewhere? I know you'd rather be somewhere else besides seeing you're loser sister in the hospital!" I say in an accusing tone. _

_Ryan is never around anymore. He used to be my best friend, but he's always out at a party or hanging around his new druggie friends. He doesn't care about me anymore. It's probably his way of coping with my parents divorce. They've been having problems the past few months and finally decided to get a divorce. But that's better than having them scream constantly at eachother. One night I was almost in tears. It tortures me how they went at it._

_"Sharpay, you know that's not true. I don't think that. You're my sister and my best friend." He says touching my cheek._

"Sure. Why do I never see you, if I'm your best friend like you said." I say.

_"Look, I'm sorry If I haven't been Shar, this divorce is getting to me and life just isn't good right now. Won't you understand?" He pleads._

_"Whatever, I dont feel like talking about this. Can we just drop it, please?" Before he can reply, the doctor walks in with a doctor-y clipboard. _

_"Ah, Miss Evans. I see you're awake. How are you feeling?" He says with a creepy, overly happy smile._

_"Fine." I say._

_"That's good. We did some tests on you. And it looks like nothing major is wrong. You sprained your wrist and you took a major hit to your head and it should hurt for the next few weeks but nothing serious. No concussion" He says._

_"Great. When can I leave here?" I say, way ready to get out of this death trap. I've always hated hospitals._

_"You can leave tomorrow. We want to keep you overnight just to be sure" He says._

_"Thank you, Dr." I say, as the doctor leaves. I can't live with this much longer. I have to end my pain. My life is all wrong, completely wrong. _

**End of Flashback**

* * *

_frozen inside without your touch _

_without your love darling _

_only you are the life among the dead_

_all this time I can't believe I couldn't see_

_kept in the dark but you were there in front of me_

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems_

_got to open my eyes to everything_

_without a thought without a voice without a soul_

_don't let me die here_

_there must be something more_

_bring me to life_

That was a week ago. Me and Ryan have become a little bit closer since the incident happened but he's still the same old scapegrace. I'm glad because now I know that I might not be completely alone. I still have _some_body even if that somebody isn't as helpful, or brotherly as he used to be. Ever since then, I know if something ever happened to me, he'd be there. That is, _If something ever happened to me, _only if something happened to me. He wouldn't be around if I was fine.

"Of course." He said, hugging me. At that moment, I broke down crying. All the pain i've kept bubbled up inside of me for so long is finally creping its way out. I feel ashamed to be letting this out in front of him, but once I starts, it won't stop. I am getting tears all over his perfect shirt, but he doesn't seem to object.

After a few minutes he whispers in my ear, "Why haven't you told anyone, Shar?"

"I dont know." I say, mascara and eyeliner running all over my face. My mascara is smeared on my bloodshot eyes. "Because I'm afraid." I pull away from the hug.

"There's nothing to be afraid of." he kisses my hair, "Sharpay?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me you'll stop cutting yourself. I don't like seeing pretty girls get hurt." He says wiping away my tears.

"Fine. But one question?" I say cocking my head to the side.

"What?"

"Why do you care this much? You never have before" I say.

He responds by kissing me. "Dont ever, ever say I've never cared" I smile as he kisses me again.

_(Wake me up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(I can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Save me)_

_call my name and save me from the dark_

_(Wake me up)_

_bid my blood to run_

_(I can't wake up)_

_before I come undone_

_(Save me)_

_save me from the nothing I've become_

_Bring me to life_

_(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)_

_bring me to life_

**A/N: Well??? Love it? Hate it? What did you think of it? This is my first Troypay fic in a while but i've been in a troypay mood lately. :/ lol I'd enjoy it very much if you'd please please please review. You'd make me the happiest girl on earth. **

**Review even if you despised it. :) lol**

**xxx**


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